Iya!

I guess I'm back for a little while. It has been around 3 years since my last post on this blog and it was really humbling to read my words from when I was 17.

I am now 20, I passed that psychology exam that I was whittling about, in fact I passed all of my A-Levels. I dropped biology as soon as I had the chance and then I pretty much bossed my 2nd year.

I got into my first choice university, which is UCLan and I guess I'm doing pretty well. My first year was awesome!… well the first half. I met a pretty amazing group of people who I think I'm going to treasure forever. I also met my boyfriend of around a year and a half, hes great. We are both trying to find our feet in this shit tip of a society but we have each other and its working out well for us! 🙂

The second half of my first year was not so good. It was the lowest I ever felt and it was all pretty much down to one of my flatmates random outburst of hatred for me. But then again no one I knew at uni was supporting me at the time either so I spent most of it alone at times where my boyfriend was busy. The girls who I am friends with now say they didn't notice what was happening to me.. obviously I forgave them but there's still a part of me that will never believe that was the case. Personally? I just think they were in a new environment themselves and did not want to place themselves with the losing party. It was probably easier and more fun to just laugh along and ignore the problem. Do I think that makes them bad people? no. Does it make them bad friends??… potentially…?

Anyway, I survived.

Unfortunately (at the time) for me we decided on our house in the first half of the year so I signed a contract to live with these girls in my second year. So this was with a girl who hates me and girls who like me but I never got close to because they were particularly interested in me during my first year.

This house is an incredibly toxic place and its completely thrown me off. I kinda wanna commute next year but I cant because I signed to contract for next year to live in this house so I'm pretty much stuck.

Yes. I make stupid decisions I don't know w h a t  the actual fuck I was doing.

The girl that hated me now likes (?) me and the other girls in the house don't like her. Funnily enough the one girl she tried to degrade, became the only girl who is actually friendly to her. sometimes I wish I wasn't as kind as I am but I can't help it.

Don't get me wrong I have never aim to be nor act like a bestie to her… i just don't exclude her from everything which the other girls "accidentally" do.

Anyway, I thought I would post something here just to kinda conclude. Who knows, I might write on here because it is actually extremely therapeutic. However, it seems pointless knowing nobody is ever going to read this.

People don't do blogs. But I'm gonna see how this goes, I tend to hide things away from people I know. I thought this was a trait that a developed in university but from what I wrote 3 years ago it can be suggested that I've always been like this.

If you see this, Hi… Let me know if you are interested in any stories I have to tell. I have plenty to write about.

But if no one sees this, that is also cool… because this is a way for me to speak out about issues in order to not mentally explode.

I'm also gonna re name this blog because Garfield is old AF and no one calls me that anymore.

From now on I am Cockslayer6000

nah I'm kidding

That is definitely not what I get Siri to call me

…..

🙂

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These are just some images that mean quite alot to me at the moment.

enjoy.

Posted on Posted in Day in the life! Tagged college, friends, insights, restless, socialising, stress, stressed, student, teenager, thoughts